I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
I JUST MACED MY OWN FACE
This is by far the best text I have ever woken up to.
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
Why did I just find out you and Andrew had sex right next to my face when I passed out on the beach?
At the time it seemed romantic and its also extremely frowned down upon to leave a passed out person by themselves in an unfamiliar place.
Why did I wake up by myself then?
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
Randomize
