This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
Randomize
