I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
Randomize
