I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
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