i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
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