Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
He looked me in the chest and said "I think I was visited by the titty fairy last night"
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
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