you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
You know the @ sign on twitter? i wish there was one of those in real life so that the smokin' hot guy at the bar would know the slutty unbuttoning of my shirt was directed @ him, not @ his friend who looks like Mickey Rourke post-face melting
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
Randomize