I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
Randomize
