Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
Randomize
