Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
I fell off the front porch last night. Actually.. I dove. I dove off the front porch.
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
They were playing some sort of fast food scavenger hunt game as an ice breaker. Some chick stamped a Starbucks logo on my hand and told me to go find the girl with the matching stamp and fill her with cream.
Dave had an Arby’s stamp and some sorority girl grabbed him and screamed “I’ve have the meat!”\n
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