the police officer looked at my vomit and told me "milk was a bad choice"
i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
dude. I can hear the air.
Randomize
