The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
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