Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
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