Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
I think my moral compass just broke
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
Randomize
