The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
We had sex on a dog bed..
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
Randomize