just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
I think weed is turning my hair brown
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
Randomize