i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
it was like eating out sand paper
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
Want me to give your number to an army recruiter?
I don't know... do you want me to use your number to sell used gay porn on Craigslist?
I sense beginning a prank war would end badly for both of us.
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
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