I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
Randomize
