How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
she looked like the bat from fern gully.
I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
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