Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
Randomize
