Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
Randomize