I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
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