I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
Randomize
