So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
Randomize