its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
I woke up to a head of lettuce on my nightstand, someones Honda abandoned in my yard, the cat partially shaved, and a empty bottle of sailor hanging by a scarf from the rafters. Oh, and 26 people apparently came though and rubbed my back in the process of the night. Happy 23rd to me!
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
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