Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
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