I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
So he ended up having sex with me, but it was so awkward. When it was over, he went to the bathroom, and he came back and asked, "are you on your period or something? there's blood on my dick..." and i said, "well it was supposed to start today, nice surprise...i am so embarrassed." and he said ,"it's better than you queefing." and as soon as he said that, i queef the hardest and loudest i ever had.
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
Randomize
