Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
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