He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
