White coat. Heels.
He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
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