just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
Are you saying I'm your favorite hot mess?
I'm actually my favorite my hot mess, but you're a close second.
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
