I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
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