Tell her she can't have a vagina
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
Randomize
