he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
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