Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
Btw I puked in your glovebox
Randomize
