Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
He called his prostate his "boner button".
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
THE PRUIS IN YOUR DRIVEWAY IS NOT YOURS
excuse me?
I accidentally borrowed your spare keys a while ago...i just tried them...that, my friend, is not your car.
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
Randomize
