u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
Why is there bacon in the couch?
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
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