and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
i came on her dog
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
Randomize
