she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
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