What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
Randomize
