he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
It was awkward being the only one at the wedding who knows that the bride and groom met when she gave him a lap dance at a strip club
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
