All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
YOU WOULD BE SEEING ME. IN MY KITCHEN. BENDING OVER MY OVEN. MAKING YOU CAKE.
Wait, that's an option?
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
It's an open bar. I'm gonna be gone when you get here.
Text me the address now before you're too drunk to text English.
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
Randomize
