I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat.
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
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