Kiss
Puke
What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
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