Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
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