She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
Randomize
