STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
So I had this brilliant idea that I would sleep in all sorts of sweatpants and sweatshirts... Apparently I thought I could "sweat" off the drunk in my sleep and that it would make me feel better when I woke up
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
Randomize