ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
Randomize
