Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
all he gave me for my birthday was sperm
at least its a homemade gift
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
Randomize
