dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
You make any dick jokes involving sushi and there WILL be consequences.
Sushi is fucking sacred in this house and I will kill you if you try and taint that.
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize
