My phone auto-corrects smirnoff to poisoned. I think it is trying to tell me something.
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
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