this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
Your shirt... Was in my pants
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
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