my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
I've got a tequila scented hand sanitizer for you.
you're the best roommate i could ever have.
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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