Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
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