We named our party play list daddy issues
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
I'm in a dress, surrounded by Republicans, and the bartender just told me he's "out of Jack Daniels" in a very accusatory tone. Shit, is it only 8 PM?
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize
