He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
Randomize
