yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
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