How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
Everyone is drunk but me. Fantastic. Everyone is hooking up but me. Awkward.
I had a pitcher of margaritas. Now I'm in a laundry room being a 5th wheel and crying. I made myself a bed out of a pool floatie. I win.
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
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