what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
I dropped my keys into the toaster and felt it push down as I pulled them out. Couldn't stop thinking it was a bad idea the whole time.
I still don't know how you've lived this long.
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
Will exercising make me less horny?
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
Randomize
