when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
I have a voicemail from Mike at 1am. He starts to say something, but then throws up instead.
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
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