I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
Randomize
