Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
she pinky promised me she was 18
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
Omphalophobia is a real thing. don't ever fucking touch my belly button again dude
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
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